Wednesday, October 30, 2013

#onesmallchange Week 5 - Being Nice to Difficult People

I am linking up to Marcia's #onesmallchange post today.  If you haven't been following her LAST QUARTER challenge, you really should check it out.  Making  #onesmallchange each week is a great way to help us make significant gains in meeting our goals by the end of the year.

photo (15) (1)

This past week my #onesmallchange was to do a good deed every day for another woman... to pay a compliment, do a favor, show gratitude, offer to help, share a smile... with at least one other woman every day.

This week, I am taking it one step further.  I so very much enjoyed this #onesmallchange because I can see how it impacts the woman I am engaging, and it often encourages other people to follow suit.  I have seen the ripple effect and it is uplifting for me as well as the other people involved.

But it is so easy to be nice, to be kind, to go the extra mile for someone with whom I am having a positive engagement.  It is much harder, in fact almost impossible sometimes, to be extra kind or generous to someone who is being difficult or contrary in our dealings.  But I do think, that this is where it can have the most positive effect; where it can make the most difference.

I think that people who are just plain miserable, or being bitchy or even mean, are sometimes feeling defensive, or perhaps guilyt about something, or incapable, or even under-valued in some way, and that is what is making them act offensively.  I am finding that my biggest smile, or my unexpected compliment or kind gesture is often just the impetus they need to turn their attitude around, at least for a few minutes.

Smiling and being kind to someone who is treating you with disdain or contempt, can be be very disarming.   And I know at least once it has made the person stop and reflect, and continue our discourse with a softer, kinder tone.  For me it is a worthwhile effort, even when it is just plain hard to do!

Here is how the LAST QUARTER challenge has gone for me:

  • Week 1 - no snacks after 8 p.m.
  • Week 2 - drink at least 64 ounces of water
  • Week 3 - take supplements
  • Week 4 - uplift at least one woman
And so far, so good... oh I have still had the VERY occasional snack at night, but I can honestly say I am getting my water in each day (and more most days) and faithfully taking my supplements.  This challenge has really helped me focus, especially knowing I am holding myself publicly accountable.

If you are interested, do check out Marcia's post and join in... it's not too late!

What is #onesmallchange you could make this week?

Do you find it hard to be nice to people who are being difficult?


  1. I love this week's change! Such an important one. As a teen I worked at a restaurant and this one family came in every week. I think they prided themselves on complaining and just being difficult. So the more miserable they got, the sweeter I was. Worked like a freaking charm. Tough to do sometimes, so I applaud you! Thanks for linking up!

  2. Yes it is very hard to be nice to difficult people but I guess it has to be done;) I forgot to tell you after your post about lifting someone up I went to the grocery store. There is a cashier there that is kind of grumpy. Not rude, just not "personality plus". She had her nails done really nicely so I commented on them and it seemed to really perk her up. She talked and talked and I think the compliment made her feel really good:) Thanks for the reminder. I need to do that more often!

    When I was a teen I worked at a tuxedo shop so I dealt with grooms picking out and trying on their tuxes right before their wedding. Many times the groom and his groomsmen were drunk from the night before. This was the perfect place to practice dealing with difficult people;)

  3. What a beautiful challenge! It is so important to be nice even in those tough times. It takes a lot of work!

  4. My parents have always taught my sister and I to be nice to people being difficult but in the area of the hospital that I volunteer in we tend to have a lot of things taken out on us because people are scared, upset, angry, hurt, etc. so at times it is difficult. I've learned that a kind word or a simple smile can mean more than you know at that time.

  5. I'm not running this week (raced on Sunday) and am trying hard to get more sleep instead. It's making a big difference! (also, I don't think you should feel guilty about snacking after 8pm. If you're hungry, you're hungry!)


Love it when you leave me a comment!